The Mighty Baby

Today I finally got to come out and play! I have to say it wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be though, since as soon as I made it out of Mom’s tummy some person with rubber gloves and a mask grabbed me, tagged me and bagged me. I felt like I had been abducted by aliens!

Luckily Mom and I finally got to meet face to face right after the weirdo with the mask wrapped me in a snuggly blankie. Mom was smiling and happy to see me and kept calling me a good girl while Dad hovered around like a startled bird wondering what he could do to help me or Mom. Ha, he’s so stupid! It’s going to be a lot of fun to wrap him around my finger and make him buy me things to keep me happy.

Oh, and someone said I weighed 7lbs and 3 ounces and was 20 inches long, whatever all that means. All I know is that Dad was thrilled that I had 10 fingers, 10 toes and that I didn’t have any webbing between them. I think he thought he was being funny. Well, just wait until I turn 16 and make him buy me my first car so I can go to the prom with that boy he doesn’t approve of. Then we’ll see who’s laughing. Stupid Dad.

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