The Mighty Baby

Archive for May, 2007

I went to Galapagos last night, a sorta club-sorta art space in Brooklyn. Uncle Fish and Uncle Alien were playing bass and drums (respectively) for this weird performance. There were trapeze artists and hula hoops and lots of glitter. I didn’t care much for the performance, but I really dug Uncle Fish and Uncle Alien’s music. The beats were a lot of fun for me to bounce to, though I didn’t quite understand their lyrics. What does Montezuma’s Revenge mean?

Last weekend, Mom and Dad ventured into a Buy Buy Baby store out in the suburbs. I’m perfectly comfortable and content swimming around in my womb world right now, but I hear that I may need a few more items once I’m out. So my clueless parents tackled the baby emporium, not quite sure what to expect. Mom got fascinated and overwhelmed by the gazillions of SKUs and endless walls, racks, rows of stuff stuff stuff. Dad, on the other hand, instantly aged about 40 years and transformed into a crotchety old man. He had a wiseass comment about every item — criticizing it, ridiculing its necessity and just getting overall mad at crazy consumerism. Some points were very valid and some points were just for cranky’s sake. He kept on going off, it was kinda funny. At least I think it was funny, because Mom kept on laughing at him. Needless to say, they didn’t last too long in the store. Can you help my confused, rational, practical parents pick out useful essentials that I’ll need to make it in the big world? Otherwise, I might get stuck with a cardboard box, some crumpled up newspapers and bubblewrap (which I hear chafes the delicates). Thanks in advance for your recommendations!

I’ve been rock and rollin’ all day today. Mom and Dad could see me trying to punch through the belly. And I accidentally kicked Mom in some organ of hers… I think it alerted her to my advancement to a womb kickboxing brown belt. Yay for me!

Today they took me on my first whirlwind tour of open houses. I think real estate shopping gets them all hopped up or something. A lot of climbing in and out of a car, breathing in construction dust and opening/closing doors — I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Mom was shooting adrenaline my way, maybe that’s why I’ve been up and about. I hope they aren’t thinking of moving. I’ve started to like the blue room that’s being set up for me.

So apparently I’m on target with my weight, about a pound. (So it is true, cameras do put a few extra pounds on you — don’t I look much bigger than a measly pound?) But the doctor told mother ship that she was gaining too much weight too fast. I guess it’s confusing to her since I’ve been kicking and ringing the dinner bell a lot more lately. The fear of gestational diabetes, c-section and other complications is making her cut back on the breads and meal sizes, but man, I’m still hungry! And Dad’s been trying to keep her accountable. I think it’s a good thing, but come on, it’s not like she’s the size of a whale or something. (pictures to come soon)

Hello paparazzi! I can’t even escape the cameras in utero. Here I am at 21 weeks.

Dad swore he saw something dangling between my legs, while Mom was still trying to figure out which part of me was on-screen. The nice lady technician said I’m a GIRL, which left Dad a little stunned. I can’t wait to wrap him around my finger!

But I guess the best part was when I overheard the radiologist after he finished clicking through my portfolio of pics — “Looks good. No problems. Healthy baby.”